Well we are officially in the vacation month. So that means gathering up the necesities for the beach. Cute outfits , sunscrean, party pajama for the cousins, sunglasses that aren't geeky, reading material, beach towels, sheets and loose twenty pounds in 17 days. Yes, when the time gets closer I start fretting how my little short white legs are going to look at the beach. So elyptical here I come. Yet again it's too little too late. It's the same every year, so you'd think I'd plan ahead. I do sometimes, and then it's too early and I have months to put the pounds back on and I do. EEEEE! it's a vicious circle.

Then you get there, and you have that first half hour at the ocean, and you don't give a rats ass what you look like cause you're at the beach. And believe me you see it all. So noone really cares how the little old middle aged mama with spider veins, the red presription sunglasses and the queer hat looks. And by the third day,and maybe several beers later you are so immune to wearing bathing suits that you actually are walking around with no cover up. Shut up!For real life.

This year I attribute the lack of self control to Bri's pregnancy. The girl had morning sickness for four months and couldn't eat. So I ate enough for both of us. She had a back ache the other day, so I needed to eat to ease her pain. She wanted potatoe salad when she visited, so I made it, and ate half the bowl. Just to be supportive of course. She had a pain under rib, I had heartburn for three days. So her little life is coming together and the baby is almost here, I think I can pull myself together for 17 days to prepare to eat and drink uncontrollably on vacation. Too bad you can't wear pany hose with a bathing suit, it would really help with those bumps and jiggles.

I have decided that the older you get your body starts reverting back to the toddler stage of life. Chubby little fingers,no chest, fat knees and of course the rotund baby belly. Waking up several times a night. Why isn't it so cute on a 51 year old? It sorta is. Especially if you are wearing a Led Zepplin t-shirt and a floppy hat. Hey, if anyone finds a pink princess sparkly skirted bathing suit in the women's section of Elder Beerman please call me, and ladies if anyone else wants to join me in the princess theme, I'm okay with it.