Good Lord,It's Golf !
Well tomorrow is my last day of summer golf league. I have accomplished some goals.
I have shown up more consistently than last year -B
I have improved my game- D+
I have met some new people -C+
Most improved player =maybe
I even came in second with my partner two weeks ago. Our names were in the paper and everything. I even got a chip in during that round. I will be honest with you though, only four of us showed up that day. So from the start we knew we'd be in second place. It was all worth it though cause a lady from the league saw me out and mentioned she saw my name in the paper, plus a chip in!!!!! The only real thing that happened there was the chip in and that was sweet.That all looks good on paper and if I were doing a self evaluation for someone else that would be my story and I would stick with it.
I did have a really good time with one of the older ladies, and she was very sweet and I think we ended up friends. Our games were about the same, but I am sure back in the day she was a pretty good golfer. In the league I belong to it is very much more social than anything.
Last week it was choose your partner and I was with this girl who was a school teacher and had four kids. I thought it would be fun. She was very precise about her score-first red flag. And she counted all of her balls before starting-kinda red flag. I guess I am not so worried about losing balls, I have a ton that Rob has found on the golf course when he walked Sidney a couple years back.
Well I was playing typical Jillsy golf, one decent shot the next 4 whiffs, finally a shot. I ended up saying the F word, no not THE-F word. I said, freaking. Is that bad? She snapped her head around. First clue, Jill. Then we got to the hole with the water hazard. I switch up balls. That 's so I won't lose my pretty lady flights. Well I made it across the pond, it hit the other side and slid into the water. SHIT! Came flying out of my mouth. She looks at me and says, I know God will let me make it across this water. (Oh,oh.) God will not let me down. God is not going to let it rain today, and I pray I get my ball across. Yikes, Miss Potty mouth Jillsy needed to shut her yapper .
We proceeded to the other holes. I understand now why she counted her balls. She lost three off the T's. She spent more time looking for balls than I did whiffing. I wanted to tell her she needed to pray to St. Anthony to find her freaking balls. That's who us sinners pray to for our selfish lowly needs when we loose something.
The next twosome was on our heels, because Miss Church anal woman was looking for so many of her precious balls. I mentioned that we needed to probably step it up a bit. She looked at me , and said none of us are here to be in a hurry. We are all here for relaxation and to enjoy the Lord's day.The last time I looked the Lord's Day was Sunday and this is just hump day Wednesday. Well that's fine , but the twosome behind us were chomping at the bit and I hope they were praying for patience, cause I sure as hell was.
Then Miss Church lady decided if her first ball off the T was not good enough, she was hitting another. Okay lady even in the Jillsy rule book I do not do that. Then she would decide which ball she wanted to play. I have certain rules that pertain to my golf technique, and if you'd play with me you can use them too.
If the ball hits the flag it's in
If the ball goes around the lip of the hole it's in
You do not count whiffs, they are practice swings.
Anywho, we finally finished up, and the Church lady had to separate her putts from her drives, and count up lost balls. I needed to leave. If I were a drinking woman, I would have had a a shot right then and there. Oh that's right, I am a drinking woman, but it was only 10:30 in the morning and I wasn't at the OBX.
After she counted up all her specific scores, she went back out on the course to find her lost balls. Okay, is this relaxing? I think I am pretty tolerant of golfers, since I suck so bad anyways, but give me a swearing drunken fast playing golfer any day. On the brighter side, just maybe I met someone who will pray for my golf game and give me the strength to want to go out and meet someone else who will tolerate all my bad habits and my novice golf skills. I think the person that fits that description is Rob. Thanks honey.
I have shown up more consistently than last year -B
I have improved my game- D+
I have met some new people -C+
Most improved player =maybe
I even came in second with my partner two weeks ago. Our names were in the paper and everything. I even got a chip in during that round. I will be honest with you though, only four of us showed up that day. So from the start we knew we'd be in second place. It was all worth it though cause a lady from the league saw me out and mentioned she saw my name in the paper, plus a chip in!!!!! The only real thing that happened there was the chip in and that was sweet.That all looks good on paper and if I were doing a self evaluation for someone else that would be my story and I would stick with it.
I did have a really good time with one of the older ladies, and she was very sweet and I think we ended up friends. Our games were about the same, but I am sure back in the day she was a pretty good golfer. In the league I belong to it is very much more social than anything.
Last week it was choose your partner and I was with this girl who was a school teacher and had four kids. I thought it would be fun. She was very precise about her score-first red flag. And she counted all of her balls before starting-kinda red flag. I guess I am not so worried about losing balls, I have a ton that Rob has found on the golf course when he walked Sidney a couple years back.
Well I was playing typical Jillsy golf, one decent shot the next 4 whiffs, finally a shot. I ended up saying the F word, no not THE-F word. I said, freaking. Is that bad? She snapped her head around. First clue, Jill. Then we got to the hole with the water hazard. I switch up balls. That 's so I won't lose my pretty lady flights. Well I made it across the pond, it hit the other side and slid into the water. SHIT! Came flying out of my mouth. She looks at me and says, I know God will let me make it across this water. (Oh,oh.) God will not let me down. God is not going to let it rain today, and I pray I get my ball across. Yikes, Miss Potty mouth Jillsy needed to shut her yapper .
We proceeded to the other holes. I understand now why she counted her balls. She lost three off the T's. She spent more time looking for balls than I did whiffing. I wanted to tell her she needed to pray to St. Anthony to find her freaking balls. That's who us sinners pray to for our selfish lowly needs when we loose something.
The next twosome was on our heels, because Miss Church anal woman was looking for so many of her precious balls. I mentioned that we needed to probably step it up a bit. She looked at me , and said none of us are here to be in a hurry. We are all here for relaxation and to enjoy the Lord's day.The last time I looked the Lord's Day was Sunday and this is just hump day Wednesday. Well that's fine , but the twosome behind us were chomping at the bit and I hope they were praying for patience, cause I sure as hell was.
Then Miss Church lady decided if her first ball off the T was not good enough, she was hitting another. Okay lady even in the Jillsy rule book I do not do that. Then she would decide which ball she wanted to play. I have certain rules that pertain to my golf technique, and if you'd play with me you can use them too.
If the ball hits the flag it's in
If the ball goes around the lip of the hole it's in
You do not count whiffs, they are practice swings.
Anywho, we finally finished up, and the Church lady had to separate her putts from her drives, and count up lost balls. I needed to leave. If I were a drinking woman, I would have had a a shot right then and there. Oh that's right, I am a drinking woman, but it was only 10:30 in the morning and I wasn't at the OBX.
After she counted up all her specific scores, she went back out on the course to find her lost balls. Okay, is this relaxing? I think I am pretty tolerant of golfers, since I suck so bad anyways, but give me a swearing drunken fast playing golfer any day. On the brighter side, just maybe I met someone who will pray for my golf game and give me the strength to want to go out and meet someone else who will tolerate all my bad habits and my novice golf skills. I think the person that fits that description is Rob. Thanks honey.
posted by Jill | 5:40 AM
2 Comments:
That woman was obviously out of her league with a classy gal like you...
Ouch!
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