A Father's Day Reflection
I just can't let Father's Day go by without thinking about my Dad. In my little girl mind he was a cross between Dick Van Dyke and Fred Astaire. He was a physical comedian like Dick Van Dyke, but had the stature of Fred Astaire. A short little guy, but lean and very agile. He was definitely very handsome and a good athlete. As a daughter , I just adored him. He made all us kids laugh, and more importantly he made my mother laugh. Any time that would happen was holiday for our family. At times he'd be silly and make his face turn into a funny cartoon or tell a story with all his wirey funny mannerisms and we'd all roar with laughter. He never said a mean word about anyone, and go out of his way to avoid any conflict.
Sometimes when I was little, I would pretend that I was sleeping in front of the TV , so he would carry me up the stairs, and tuck me in bed. I loved that. It was difficult sharing him with seven other siblings, but because I was always in and out of the hospital , and not very healthy as a kid, I probably had more one on one with both of my parents.
He was a cheerleader at Notre Dame. My Mom said that was because he was small, and the other guys could throw him around easily.He definitely had gymnastic abilities cause I do remember at family gatherings at Grandma Allen's house with Aunts and Uncles around that they would encourage Dad to do a back hand spring, and he would! Even when he was older....well he only lived till he was 68, so how much older could he have been?
He had the prettiest ice blue eyes. Not one of us kids got them, I still think there is hope for an Allen grandchild somewhere down the line to be blessed with those beautiful eyes. He also had the waviest, thickest hair. I do think my kids got the good hair gene from him.
I really think that his biggest accomplishment in his life was being a Lieutenant in the Air Force during WWII. That must have been quite the experience. He never shared any of those times with us girls, but I think with my brothers , he had some stories. Later in his life he attended reunions of his squadrant, and that made him so happy and proud. He couldn't get over how the Air force officers were actually serving the old pilots food.
The most memorable moment I have of us, was at a cousin's wedding. It was after Rob and I were married, but before we had any kids. Daddy and I were dancing,which is another good memory, my Dad could really dance. He said to me, " you know how the priest said today at the service preached , do not wait to tell the people you love, that you love them?"..... He then said to me , "I love you." At the time, I didn't realize how important that was. You see my husband tells his kids that he loves them, every time he talks to them.
My Dad came from an era that men ....and actually some women, didn't talk about such things. I don't know if they thought it was a weakness, or what. I really didn't know how special that conversation was until years later, when my Dad was very sick. I lived out of town, and didn't get to be with him very much that last year of his life. One of the last times I saw him, I hugged him and told him I loved him. He said , thank you. What went through my mind at the was,You don't say thank you when your kid says that they love you,..... you say I love you too. That is what I say......... That is what I would say.
In retrospect, I think how fortunate I was that he had told me some ten years before, cause I hold onto that, that short little sentence. Now I see and understand how special it was that he DID tell me. I don't even know if he ever told any of my brothers or sisters.
He always called me Jilly. I think I remember telling him to stop cause it made me feel like a baby. Now, if someone calls me Jilly, I think of him, and I like it very much.
My Daddy was a gentleman, a scholar, a great golfer, adored his wife and his family.He worked hard for the church and loved his beer.I miss him very much. I know he is around me, especially when I'm with my brothers and sisters. If you would ask any one of them, they would all agree with my words, and have a few of their own stories, I am sure.
Sometimes when I was little, I would pretend that I was sleeping in front of the TV , so he would carry me up the stairs, and tuck me in bed. I loved that. It was difficult sharing him with seven other siblings, but because I was always in and out of the hospital , and not very healthy as a kid, I probably had more one on one with both of my parents.
He was a cheerleader at Notre Dame. My Mom said that was because he was small, and the other guys could throw him around easily.He definitely had gymnastic abilities cause I do remember at family gatherings at Grandma Allen's house with Aunts and Uncles around that they would encourage Dad to do a back hand spring, and he would! Even when he was older....well he only lived till he was 68, so how much older could he have been?
He had the prettiest ice blue eyes. Not one of us kids got them, I still think there is hope for an Allen grandchild somewhere down the line to be blessed with those beautiful eyes. He also had the waviest, thickest hair. I do think my kids got the good hair gene from him.
I really think that his biggest accomplishment in his life was being a Lieutenant in the Air Force during WWII. That must have been quite the experience. He never shared any of those times with us girls, but I think with my brothers , he had some stories. Later in his life he attended reunions of his squadrant, and that made him so happy and proud. He couldn't get over how the Air force officers were actually serving the old pilots food.
The most memorable moment I have of us, was at a cousin's wedding. It was after Rob and I were married, but before we had any kids. Daddy and I were dancing,which is another good memory, my Dad could really dance. He said to me, " you know how the priest said today at the service preached , do not wait to tell the people you love, that you love them?"..... He then said to me , "I love you." At the time, I didn't realize how important that was. You see my husband tells his kids that he loves them, every time he talks to them.
My Dad came from an era that men ....and actually some women, didn't talk about such things. I don't know if they thought it was a weakness, or what. I really didn't know how special that conversation was until years later, when my Dad was very sick. I lived out of town, and didn't get to be with him very much that last year of his life. One of the last times I saw him, I hugged him and told him I loved him. He said , thank you. What went through my mind at the was,You don't say thank you when your kid says that they love you,..... you say I love you too. That is what I say......... That is what I would say.
In retrospect, I think how fortunate I was that he had told me some ten years before, cause I hold onto that, that short little sentence. Now I see and understand how special it was that he DID tell me. I don't even know if he ever told any of my brothers or sisters.
He always called me Jilly. I think I remember telling him to stop cause it made me feel like a baby. Now, if someone calls me Jilly, I think of him, and I like it very much.
My Daddy was a gentleman, a scholar, a great golfer, adored his wife and his family.He worked hard for the church and loved his beer.I miss him very much. I know he is around me, especially when I'm with my brothers and sisters. If you would ask any one of them, they would all agree with my words, and have a few of their own stories, I am sure.
posted by Jill | 11:07 AM
5 Comments:
that's very nice Jill. I would have liked to have met your Dad.
Aunt Jillsy - that was an amazing Father's Day journal. It brought tears to Monica and I. I don't know if I told you this or not. But, Grandpa Allen and I talked before he passed away when he visited Kansas. He talked about wanting to see me play basketball some time. He died that fall - my parents, of course, drove back for the funeral. I was in college and had to play in a basketball game the day of the funeral. Needless to say, it was probably the worst game I played that year. As much as I wanted to play well for him, though I was there physically, I just wasn't there emotionally. Though I grew up in Kansas and didn't spend as much time with Grandpa Allen as I wanted to, I'd like to think they were all special times. Cheering for Notre Dame is my way of thinking about Grandpa Allen. Go Irish! Love - Bill
Bill..... I love that you are even reading my crazy Blog, but I agree, when I think of the "Fighting Irish" and I think of my Dad.I love that you had that talk with him, cause I know my kids were probably way too young to understand what it was to loose him at that time. They just saw what a mess I was during the whole thing. I do know that eventhough you and your family were far away, he and Mom were so proud of you and Debbie for all your accomplishments. Your mother, well she always had a very special spot in both of my parents's hearts. She was their first...and they always would come back to how special she was. That just forced me have to be a little louder, a little funnier, a little more annoying ...you know, to be noticed.I think it worked!
How do you tell someone when they have touched your heart? I always knew that Jill had a special place in Daddy's heart. I wanted to be there too. JUDY
Are You kidding me? Yo made mom and dad laugh every day of their lives.
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