Shopping

I made the mistake of going to an upscale Fashion Mall in Indy this week that will remain nameless, but I think all my Indiana folks will know what I'm talking about. I was going to babysit on Thursday and Friday, so I thought I would hit the stores Wednesday afternoon and find a dress for THE Gala. I forgot how upscale the Mall was,I haven't been there for at least a year, or I have just been in granny mode for so long that I am clueless. I had driven three hours, and yes, I did put makeup on in the morning, but really you couldn't tell by the time I got to Indianapolis. My hair was absolutely flat, so I just tucked it behind my ears. I had on a sweater and a white collared shirt, jeans, and flat shoes. I started at Sax. That's Fifth Avenue. Listen, I am used to freaking Elder Beerman and Wal-Mart. I go to the floor that has formal wear. First off they do not have petites, so anything long forget about it. I told the lady I was looking for something with sleeves. Oh no you need to be youthful, I'll bring you some cute things.She said in her wonderful foreign accent. She looks me up and down, let's see what we have on sale? What size do you wear? Well, in my brain I wear a 6. I really probably wear an 8. Okay let's see. No. Nothing on sale in your size. Let's look at this stuff. You can wear a sleeveless thing and go to another store and buy a cheaper cover up, all the stores have them, you don't have to buy it here. There was no dress there for less than $400.00, but I wasn't gonna stop her. She really was attentive. I finally found a dress that wasn't awful, and I could fit my fat ass in, and by the way it was a 10. But the bust was too big and the sparkly strap ( it was a one shoulder number.... very posh) was way to long for my short hobbit body. It was gorgeous, but really not on me. "You can get this all altered." I said you can hold it, I will make my decision tonight, no matter what, but I am still shopping. This lady was okay, she just wasn't really listening to my needs. She tried. I decided she was REALLY was trying to make a sale.
Off I go to Nordstroms. What snobs are these sales people. Do not get me wrong, I did not look very high society, but these people could have gotten a great sale. I felt like Julia Roberts in pretty woman that movie. I carried into the dressing room 7 dresses. These were heavy, huge dresses not to mention, big ticket items. No one asked to help me. There was a lady in the next dressing room who was trying on suits, the sales chic was asking her , her favorite colors, styles, tastes, running like mad getting her stuff. I tried the seven dresses on and returned them to the racks. I found four more. While I was returning the clothes a lady finally came up to me and asked if I needed help. The suit helper lady was chatting with another clerk at the desk. "No thanks, I'm done." "Oh was someone helping you?" " No, I helped myself." I just wanted to say the line, "Big Mistake." Are you on commission?
Okay at this point I am calling Bri and telling her I won't be getting to her house till later. Robby gives me directions to Castelton Mall.
I walked into the sore. It was awesome. Piano is playing, the selection of formal dresses is unbelievable. They actually had several petite formal dresses. Not any that were good for me , but more than I had seen anywhere else. Do only tall people go to special events? What the freak?! There was a lady there that was very helpful. Dear Lord, these people are all on commission. I guess there are people that judge the book by it's cover. It made me ask myself if I do too. Well she listened to what I was looking for, she pulled several dresses that maybe I wouldn't have. We went through the bathrobe look, velour, full length with a V neck, the Totie Fields look, empire waist with chubby legs hanging out. Then we found it. The dress. Very elegant , very age appropriate, very me. Yes, it needs to be hemmed,( of course). Yes, I need spanx. Whatever. It was a size 6, it actually fit my chest. Who-hooo! And my arms are covered. I do not look like a grandma....even though I am. Yes, I looked like a grandma when I was shopping, but note to sales people out there. Sometimes old bags have money, and they don't look it. And sometimes people look like they have money and they don't. Guess what, it shouldn't make a difference. Do your job.
I got to Bri's and she and Jake were working out. I asked her if I looked like a homeless person. She looked at me between kickboxing and said, no. What else could she say? I am watching her kids, she has to kiss up. She pointed out my cute sweater, shoes, and hip glasses. Then she looked at the table," Mom is that a make-up bag you are using for a purse?" "Shut up I like the color, and do you think anyone really notices?" She just gave me a look, and continued to punch air.
Maybe it was the bag? .......The old Bag.